Flying Without Wingzzz....

I reached home grumbling. This is what happened today. I bought some ice creams from the ice cream fair and kept it in the fridge till end of the day to bring it home. At around 3pm, the secretary saw me wrapping the ice cream box with newspaper and stored it into the fridge. She hinted saying that the company bought the fridge for OFFICE use and not for PERSONAL usage *stressing the BIG caps word* I wonder why she kept picking on me? What does she has against me? I insisted that she may kept hers in there but she just kept saying because of me, the others *i'm wondering who could be the "others"* could not keep their ice cream there. Not wanting to give in to her, I replied by saying yesterday there were 6 pple who bought ice creams and they've no qualms. She kept insisting I'm selfish. Damn her! Her face has a sinister smile when I walked off leaving her there. She doesnt do the same to the other staffs who kept their food in the fridge for months but she made an exceptional for me. Well... she hate Muslim and me being one became her target. Luckily, sunflora was nice enough to store the ice creams in her office fridge. Met her at her office lobby to pass the packaging and promised to collect it at the end of the day. I didnt join the company gathering tho' as I'm still boiling deep down over the ice cream incident. However, I caught Yvonne crying in the loo. Poor her! She'd given her resignation letter to her boss. But because she's under immense stress she couldnt withold her tears in front of her boss. Her boss said she's being too emotional and he's rejecting her resignation. Yvonne was adamant but her boss insisted that she think it over. Yvonne is set to leave the company and nothing could stop her now. I'll be the only one left then ; the "old bird" in the regional team. I havent found a new job and wouldnt want to tender my resignation. I'm too, suffering under my own boss. I'm being fickle now, should I find a job first and then tender or should I tender and find a job later? If I found a job then I'm not sure if the company is willing to wait for 2 mths. And if I tender now w/o a job, I worried about the home expenses... arghhh!! I hate being at the crossroads.... anyone out there can give me a piece of your opinion pls. I need help!!

"Aku terima nikahnya dgn Suhana Bte Yaa'cob...bla..bla..bla" SAH!! SAH!! SaH!!! and from this moment *humming to Shania Twain's song*, shny's now someone's wife! Congratulations Fansuri & Suhana aka shny! Welcome to the club..... your next challenge will be producing more and more babies!! hiak hiak hiak...... Well, my time has passed but it seems like I'm only married yesterday! My mind started to race back during the moments of anxiety & tension and restlessness. I cant help but notice shny trying hard to withhold her tears of joy. (I almost failed to hold back my tears or I'd end up wetting my face and nose. ekekeke) But yeah.... I guess I'm not the only one touched by the solemn moment. Sunflora failed to hide it - saw her eyes wet with tears. If only I could turn back time......... NAK KAWIN LAGIK SEKALI!!! Nevermind, since I wont have the chance to go thru all the solemn moments all over again, I'm gonna drag my hubby to a bridal studio and we'll take pictures in wedding suits .... Ahhhh!! OK now... lemme continue my dream in my dreamland... chaoz!

I've made up my mind. Gonna tender my resignation soon and continue with my job hunting mission. I just cant take anymore craps these "people" has been giving me. My own boss so indecisive! Arghh...!! The more I think of it the more depressed I become. No more endurance , no more perseverance. I've had enufff!!! After work, I went to my aunt's place for a massage session to release tension. (Need to pamper my body lah.) Why ah... everyone thinks I'm trying to avoid getting pregnant to maintain my present skinny figure? *mumble* My aunt is one of them. Aiyoh!! For goodness sake, it's not that I dont want. I'm just being fickle about being a mother now. My hubby too. We dont wanna get caught in a situation of being financially unstable to provide for our kids. We want the best too. Obviously, if I'm avoiding pregnancy then I'd be taking those contraceptives pills. Just that..... ahhh! Forget it. (Kept repeating the whole verse over & over again. I've had enough pressure from my in-laws & hubby's relatives.) Allah knows best & He knows when the time comes. Insya-Allah. Now.... I still havent decide if I should attend shny's nikah tomorrow. Hubby too cant confirm. Helep!! Helep!! I'm caught in a dilemma.

Wait ah! Lemme laff my head off first..... Aiyoh.... poor Tierra! She almost got locked up in the office in total darkness just now.......kwa kwa kwa. I completed my work at around 8pm. As I was packing, my MD and Glenn (from Aust office who came on biz trip here) waited for me. My MD says he'll for me outside the office while I switch off the lights. So kind of him. He told me everyone has left and we couldnt hear the sound of keyboard working either. Line clear! I went up to the lights switchboard and switch off the lights at the pantry, lights around my workstation and finally the whole office. (Too many switches lah so must do one by one) Suddenly, Tierra came running out. "Hey...hey! I'm around lah dont locked me up." On seeing that, my MD broke into laughter. Glenn was in the gents' then. Both of us apologise profusely. I lent Tierra my office key and left still laughing. I wonder what'll happened if Tierra was in the ladies' and we left with the office all locked. She'll be stranded outside the office waiting for SOS rescue. ekekekeke.............. Ay! GTG now to have my shower before the "Incredible Tales" starts. Nite!

A blue Monday. I dun seem to be able to start my engine working. Din' do much tho (I'm lucky cos' my boss wasnt in town and I KIV my work for tomoro) except for some write-up on market review, revenue reports update, a bit of filing for some of my confidential contracts and then the rest of the day, I spent chatting on the net & MSN (illegally). So free huh? kiak...kiak...kiak Poor xisco & Bunnyz! Both of them are under stress. They came confiding via MSN. Been there & done the same. Not much of help tho' cos' its not as easy as doing it. Giving some comforting words are what I can afford to do. Besides, I'm too going thru' "tormenting" life here @ my workplace. Just that now I've learnt to take it easy eversince I was "diagnosed" as going thru a short term of depression. It's not healthy esp. when I'm trying to conceive and that could cause my hormones to be imbalance too. Each indivdual is different in their way of handling their own emotions. But its not wrong to adopt some healthy ways of tackling it. Every problem has a solution. Well...well....well.... look who's talking! *chucklez* I'm definitely good at talking at times but sometimes, I find myself at wits end. The only way is thru prayers...... *wink* insya-Allah.

We attended a close friend of hubby's wedding reception. CT (my 1 yr 11mths niece) came along with us. She was all ready with her hair tied up and dressed up in her brand new dress bought by her grandma. She was so excited when we came over to fetch her. She has always loved going out with me and hubby. She was quiet & obedient all the way and had her pacifier stucked in her mouth all the time. When we reached there, she was very shy and hid her face on my shoulder when hubby's friends went goo goo ga ga over her. Suddenly, she heard her favourite song " Sandarkan pada Kenangan - Jamal & CT Sarah" was aired by the DJ. She swayed her body and mimed to the music. She forgot her shyness! She mumbled something to me in her hoarse voice (she's having sore throat) which I dont understand. Anyway, I gave her a sweet as a reward. I was really caught unprepared when hubby's friends came up and asked if it was ours. I felt awkward at first but later just let hubby do the talking. Hubby has intended to bring her along on shny's wedding next Sunday. But we'll see if he's working otherwise, it's a NO-NO for me if I'm going alone. Thanx to my cuzin & hubby, who trust us & offered their daughter (their 4th child) to go out with us.

Guess what? I've got a funny dream. *giggles* I woke up and slapped my face a few times before I'm fully awake. I dreamt of K.S. the charming TV celebrity with brains. *wink @ kissy. in case she dropped by* Auwww....!! I just kept laughing at myself - silly dream! Dreaming in broad daylight.... Hey! If my hubby found out, he's gonna pout all day long! Well, following is an excerpt of it. In my dream, I was waiting for someone at a bench reading a book by Mel Gill. (My brother lent to me the book the night before - funny it got into my dream) As I was engrossed with the article, I sensed someone sitting beside me. His body smelt refreshing & masculine. Mmmm..... (Cant make out whats the fragrant.) Anyway, I looked up to shift part of my stuffs aside to create space. My jaws dropped when I saw him smiling at me .... Auwww! (I'm melting!! ) I've made sure he's not smiling at someone else otherwise I'll look like a fool. I smiled back & continue my reading when he suddenly cleared his throat and say "" *Gulp!* Somehow, there's chemistry. We started talking and laughed occasionally. (I think I've forgotten that I'm MARRIED! ) It does not stop there though. ( I mean the casual chat) We got up and decided to go for a stroll..... SNAP! (I'm gonna stop here.) What happen next will be history. kiak....kiak...kiak.... I'll leave it to you to imagine. Honey! If you drop here by chance..... errr.... sorry k. Anyway, for full cover story - bed time yah!

Today is H last day in my company. She found a perm job in a law firm as a secretary. Good for her. Stephanie came to confide to me about retrieving her resignation letter. She became fickled when her boss, GT, told her that she might have difficulty finding a job upon graduating from SIM in 3 yrs time. He suggested to her to continue working for him & took a PT course instead. I told Steph that since she's young & has no commitment, she should continue studying since she has decided to do so after months of consideration. It'd be tough for her juggling between work & study. I shared with her my experience and how I had a hard time then. Still, I told her the decision lies in her hands and that she has to stand firm by her decision. That could just be GT's antics to make her stay as he doesnt want to go through the hassle of looking for a replacement & doing the re-training all over again. Well, I blamed him for Steph's resignation. Everyone in the office knew he's a difficult boss to work with. I gathered from others who were more senior than me , was told that his previous assts hasnt been staying long. The max is 1 year the min is 6 mths of stay. That tells all. Steph is still considering before this Monday comes where GT will come back from his biz trip to have an in-depth discussion with her. Received a call from xisco and I had to turn down his invitation to join them for a small gathering as hubby is working late again. He came home at around 10pm just now looking totally worn out. Poor him! He told me has to work through the weekends too. There goes our precious Sat/Sun. Gonna continue watching "Baadshah" on Suria now. It's a funny show which stop me from switching off the TV to go to bed early...... ekekekekek. G'Nite!

I havent been working much today as most of the systems are down either due to migration or maintenance update. Good lah ....got more time chatting on Ewah2.com. Hubby came back grumbling. He complained that one of the engineer (i think - forgot the designation liao!) kept asking him for duplicate reports one after another. Besides, he need to write long reports, take the scale reading or whatever its called every an hour and other miscellaneous tasks. He's been rushing to and fro his office and the tragedy site. At 8 pm as he was about to leave, his Manager called for a meeting. After a long wait, the Chairman came in and said the meeting was to be held at 12 midnite, 4 am, 6am and 9am. All who were presence were taken aback... they've wasted their time there waiting for the meeting to commence and this is what they got. Poor hubby! He must have been drained out to the MAX. (Hopefully, he'll shed some fats...ekekeke) Lately, he's been missing on the Playstation and he woke up at 5am played Winning 11 whilst waiting to perform the morning prayers. He took the same opportunity too while waiting for breakfast to be ready. He's definitely very stress and his health is slightly affected. He hasnt been sleeping well past nites eversince the Nicoll Highway collapse. It's so unfortunate he's working on the CCL project there. I just hope everything will be over soon..... I feel tensed too at times. OK lah....gotta go to bed now. I need to wake up early tomorrow. Gd nite!

Stephanie has tendered her resignation!! 1 more "kaki" down. Now the only survivors in the regional team are me & Yvonne. If Yvonne decided to tender too, I'll be all alone. Definitely the new batch taking over their roles, wouldnt be as great companion as them. Best wishes to Stephanie in her search for greener pastures. She's a young & promising girl, only 21. She has decided to leave the workforce to study full time at SIM. Yvonne recommended me folic acid tab to strengthen the womb as per recommended by her gynae. I wasnt too confident on consuming it as my gynae told me to drink ANMUM 1. Coincidentally, I was chatting in Ewah2.com when YahFiq recommended the same pill. Without hesitation, (after work) I headed straight for the Unity Healthcare to look for it. So cheap!! A box of 100 tabs cost me $2.50 only. Unbelievable! (Mudah2an it works this time. Insya-Allah) Hubby came home looking lethargic. He complained of backaches and muscles strained at both legs. Poor him! He's been going to work early morning and back home late. He didnt eat properly too. Sometimes, he skipped his meals. The tragedy that happened has made him more busy and always on the go. (Hopefully, he shed some excess fats! ekekekeke) Gotta go to bed now, need to wake up early again tomorrow.....

NEWS HEADLINE : Nicoll Highway collapsed @ 3.45pm today nearby Golden Mile Complex. 4 casualties were reported; 1 dead 3 still missing. Bunnyz broke the news on Ewah2.com. Luckily, I happened to be there. I was still curious on the incident and it doesnt crossed my mind that my hubby was probably working at the site doing inspection. I talked to my "neighbour" and she too gotta shocked! Suddenly, I just remembered.... my hubby! *slaps forehead* I called him immediately. I was so thankful & glad when I heard his voice. He told me he's rushing and couldnt talk to me long. I asked him if he was fine & told him to take care. He came home @ around 9.45pm. He reflected on the afternoon's incident. He was supposed to do inspection on the area @ ard 3pm but was held up in the office when his manager called. *Syukur! that's blessing in disguise* He was about to lock his office when he received news of the collapse. He thought it wasnt so serious but when there was power outage he took no chance and ran all the way to the incident. The air was already filled with the stench smell of gas. That's why he came home dizzy & nausea and complained of slight chest pain. He told me he need to be at the site by 6am tomoro morning. (Alahai! Paginya ako kena bangun besok buat breakfast. ) In my heart, I pray for his safety & the others. (Tempted to ask him to ask for transfer or find new job....